As an intuitive coach & consultant, I often work with clients who are feeling unfulfilled and uncertain about their life’s path. Issues range from career dissatisfaction, relationship troubles, or a general sense of purposelessness. Through exploring these experiences together, it always seems that the root is an estrangement from ourselves and the trust in the cosmos we came into this world with.
In the process of being forced to assimilate to the supremacy culture we’re born into, I've noticed is that many of the individuals who seek me as a steward haven't had the time, support, or guidance in developing the skills to explore and define their personal values outside of modernity.
Personal values are the beliefs and principles that guide our lives and inform our decisions. Living and navigating a world that is shaped by supremacy culture will, naturally, build our skills to assimilate into supremacy culture and continue perpetuating it. This ultimately limits our imaginations, and we diminish our own creativity towards building futures that are more free.
However, as we navigate supremacy culture, we also learn all the behaviours that we hate—albeit begrudgingly abide by. In the small spaces between the legacy of colonial violence, we find that they are the things that we hold most dear. Ultimately, they can have a profound impact on our sense of fulfillment and purpose, building our resilience to continue enduring the legacy of colonial violence. In this blog post, I want to explore the role that personal values play in creating a fulfilling life and offer some tips for identifying and prioritising your own values.
Why Personal Values Matter
Before we dive into the specifics of personal values, let's take a moment to talk about why they matter. Simply put, our personal values are the foundation of our identities. They shape our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors, and they guide us through life's ups and downs.
When we're clear on our personal values, we're better able to make decisions that align with our true selves. We're more confident in our choices and less likely to be swayed by outside influences or societal expectations. We're also more likely to experience a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
Conversely, when we're out of touch or living out of alignment with our personal values, we may feel lost, unfulfilled, or even resentful. We may make or be forced to make decisions that don't align with our true selves, or we may feel like we're living someone else's life instead of our own.
The Benefits of Living According to Your Values
Living according to your personal values has many benefits, including:
Greater fulfilment: When you're living a life that's aligned with your personal values, you're more likely to feel fulfilled and content.
Increased confidence: Making decisions based on your personal values can increase your confidence in yourself and your choices.
Improved relationships: Knowing your personal values can help you build stronger, more authentic relationships with others.
Clearer direction: Personal values can help guide you in setting and achieving goals that align with your true self.
Identifying Your Personal Values
So, how do you go about identifying your personal values? No, it’s not enough to know you’re anti-colonial, anti-racist, anti-oppression.
Here are a few steps to get started:
Reflect on what matters most to you: Take some time to think about the things that are most important to you in life. These might include things like family, career, spirituality, health, or creativity.
Consider your core behaviours: Think about the beliefs and principles that guide your life. For example, if you are anti-oppression, what behaviours are driven by your core beliefs. Do you value honesty, integrity, compassion, or generosity because of how marginalised people are treated?
Reflect on what energises you: Think about the activities or experiences that make you feel energised, connected, and engaged. What do these experiences have in common, and what do they say about your values?
Identify the incarnation of your values: Think about the people you admire and look up to. What values do they embody that resonate with you?
Prioritising Your Personal Values
Once you've identified your personal values, it's important to prioritise them. This means figuring out which values are most prominent to you and making sure that your life is aligned with those values.
To prioritise your personal values, try the following:
Identify your top 5-10 values: Look at the list of values you've identified and choose the top 5-10 that are most important to you.
Reflect on how you're living according to your values: Think about the different areas of your life (e.g. career, relationships, hobbies) and assess how well each area aligns with your top values. Are there areas where you're not living according to your values? What changes could you make to bring your life more in line with your values—even if it’s not perfect?
Make intentional choices: Once you've identified your top values, make intentional choices that align with those values. For example, if you value family, make sure to prioritise quality time with your loved ones and find ways of supporting historically marginalised people to be able to do the same. If you value creativity, make sure to make time for creative pursuits in your life and support historically marginalised people to do the same. Support can look like sending them home early with paid leave if you’re a manager, or lobbying for legislative change while we still live under a Statist paradigm.
Living a Fulfilling Life According to Your Values
Living a fulfilling life according to your values requires ongoing self-reflection and intentional action. There is no such thing as a single point of arrival, and it’s a danger to think there is because it leaves us open to thinking we’re perfect and cannot harm or grow. Here are some tips to help you stay aligned with your values:
Revisit your values regularly: As you grow and change, your values may deepen as well. Make sure to revisit your values regularly to ensure that they still feel true to you in guiding your behaviours.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is touted as a mental health practice that can be depoliticised—but doing so is disingenuous. Practicing mindfulness is a political act, and can help you stay present and focused on what matters most to you. Try incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation to connect with the cosmos and the wider global community, or journaling to process your areas of growth into your routine.
Seek support: Living according to your values can be challenging, especially if it goes against the norms and expectations of those around you. Seek support from loved ones or a steward who can support you in your journey back to yourself.
Celebrate your successes: When you make choices that align with your values, celebrate your successes! Acknowledge the progress you've made and the positive impact it's had on your life and those around you.
In conclusion, personal values play a vital role in creating a fulfilling life, and embarking on the ongoing healing journey from colonial trauma. By identifying and prioritising your values, you can live a life that feels true to you and brings you a sense of purpose and meaning.
Remember to revisit your values regularly and make intentional choices that align with them.
With practice and support, you can create a life that truly reflects who you are and what you value most. I also have a free workbook excerpt to get you started.
If you’re looking for a steward, book a discovery call with me to get support on designing the life you want to live, and see if we’re a good fit for each other.
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