As I sit here, the weight of my experiences over the past year and a half feels palpable. The ivory towers of academia had become a suffocating cage, slowly draining the life from my weary soul as I tried navigating the lasting effects of workplace bullying. But now, after a necessary respite to tend to my mental health, I find myself poised to reenter the fray, armed with a renewed sense of purpose and a commitment to honouring my needs within a system that often fails to do the same.

The decision to take a leave of absence from my doctoral studies was not an easy one. The relentless pressure to perform, to publish, to compete in a publish-or-perish culture had taken a devastating toll on my well-being when I desperately needed time. The once-pristine visions of “intellectual pursuit” had become tainted by the stark realities of systemic oppression, where marginalized scholars like myself are expected to navigate a minefield of microaggressions, imposter syndrome, and the ever-present specter of burnout.

As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the complex, decolonial dance we must perform as we strive to reclaim our rightful place on the land that whiteness occupies within these hallowed halls. For too long, the ivory tower has been a bastion of Eurocentric thought, where the experiences and epistemologies of the Global South have been dismissed or relegated to the periphery. It is time to challenge these entrenched power structures, to weave the tapestry of knowledge with the vibrant threads of diverse perspectives and lived realities.

And so, as I prepare to reenter the institution that subsumes knowledge, I do so with a renewed commitment to myself, to honouring the rhythms of my mindbodyspirit. The road ahead may be paved with deadlines and expectations, but I refuse to let them dictate the pace of my recovery. Instead, I will practice the habits I nurtured during my leave to cultivate a writing and studying practice that is tailored to my needs, one that nourishes my soul and allows me to engage with the material in a way that is both intellectually rigorous and emotionally sustainable.

This may mean carving out dedicated time for time with the Universe, for gentle movement, for the simple act of sitting with my thoughts and allowing them to coalesce into the words that will ultimately live on the page. It may mean setting boundaries, learning to say "no" to the endless stream of demands that threaten to overwhelm me. And it will most certainly mean (re)learning to be gentle with myself, to celebrate the small victories and to recognise that the path to healing is not always linear.

But as I navigate this journey, I am not alone. I am buoyed by the stories of those who have walked this path before me, who have found ways to thrive within the confines of the academy while also tending to their mental health and emotional well-being. And it is with their wisdom and support that I forge ahead, determined to create a new paradigm, one where caring for yourself is not just a luxury, but a necessary component of academic experience.

So, if you find yourself in a similar position, know that you are not alone. The path may be winding and uncertain, but with patience, self-compassion, and a commitment to honoring your needs, you can (re)learn how to claim your rightful place within the halls of academia. And who knows, perhaps in the process, you'll uncover a new way of being that not only serves you, but also challenges the very foundations of the system itself.

If you're ready to embark on your own journey of self-discovery and decolonial praxis, I invite you to connect with me, your intuitive consultant, for a transformative coaching experience. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of academia, mental health, and the pursuit of personal and professional fulfillment, all while honouring the wisdom of our ancestors and the power of our collective resilience.